How To End A Friendship With A Narcissist
Ending a friendship with a narcissist is no easy feat. Being friends with a narcissist is definitely going to drain you emotionally. This is because friendship with such people is usually toxic. They make everything about themselves as if the world revolves around them. You will realize that relationship with them is about them and their life almost all the time.
You have to constantly help them massage their ego and they will have no problem making you feel bad just to assert their ego. This is all a mind game that you cannot escape until you realize that you are indeed friends with a narcissist. While it is admirable to attempt to change your narcissist friend, it is most likely your attempt will end in frustration and sadness.
It is best to pick your friends carefully and avoid getting involved with a narcissist at all costs, but if you are already friends with one, it is best you start plotting your escape immediately. While it can be incredibly tough to end your friendship with a narcissist, worry not as it can surely be done. If you are currently friends with a narcissist and wish to break away from them, here are some tips on ending a friendship with a narcissist.
Convince Yourself That Your Friend Is A Narcissist
First, you have to be convinced that your friend is indeed a toxic being and continuing to be friends with such a person is only going to harm you in the long run. A narcissist will keep you around only so you can continue to feed their ego at a cost to yourself. They don’t care about you so far you continue to make them feel important. Narcissists feel entitled to being superior and expect everyone to cater to their needs and desires.
They will continue to keep you down emotionally by making you feel insecure and dependent on their friendship so they continue to feel powerful. Such a person is not someone you keep close. Facing reality and accepting the truth no matter how difficult it is, is the first step to ending your friendship with a narcissist.
Be honest With Them
After you have taken the decision to end your friendship with your narcissist friend, the next step is to inform your friend of your decision. You may be tempted to just sever all ties immediately but that’s a wrong move and will make you look just as bad as your narcissist friend. You owe it to your friend to inform them of your decision to sever ties. This also ensures you are both on the same page and they won’t go looking for you or be hurt when you start to ignore them.
Now that you have made your decision known to your friend, its time to start looking out for yourself. Slowly detach yourself from this person. It may be hard, trust me it is for the best and there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking out for yourself first. It is better for you to hang out with people who care about you than for you to be hanging out with someone who only uses you for their own selfish reasons.
Gradually reduce the amount of time you spend with your narcissist friend and that way, you will ease yourself out of this toxic friendship rather than cutting them off suddenly without an explanation.
Delete Them Completely From Your Life
Once you have eased yourself out of your toxic friendship with a narcissist, the next step is to delete them completely from your life. Block them from all your social media, delete their contacts, as well as any other means by which you can reach out to each other. Keeping such ends loose will only serve to defeat the purpose of why you opted out of the friendship in the first place.
This is because you may be tempted to stalk them, a situation that will only lead to you feeling bad and this effectively defeats the reason why you cut off your friend in the first instance. So, once you cut ties with your narcissist friend, make sure it’s total.
Walk Away And Don’t Look Back
It is possible that your toxic friend will resurface after a while with the intent to create drama. The logical thing to do is to avoid being drawn into their game again because you would not win. Narcissists are good at creating drama, so it is possible that your narcissist ex-friend will try to spread some rumor about you, just ignore them.
Any attempt to defend yourself will leave you at their mercy again which is what they are after. Don’t give them the joy of seeing you unhappy. Walk away firmly. That way you will hurt their ego more instead of getting drawn into their drama as they wanted.
Make New Friends
After successfully ending a toxic relationship, you should put conscious effort into making new friends or invest more time in healthy, existing friendships. Surround yourself with people that love and really care about you. Failure to do this will leave you feeling alone, or like you have lost someone really important. This is bad, as you risk falling back into old, bad habits. If you surround yourself with positive people, you wouldn’t even miss your old friend who was constantly putting you down to feed their own ego.
How To Spot A Narcissist Friend
Usually, it is very easy to spot a narcissist friend. If your friend possesses any of these character traits, it means that he or she is a narcissist.
Need For Attention
Narcissists crave attention more than anything. Since most of them have self-esteem issues, they need the attention to boost their self-esteem. It won’t me unusually for a narcissist to enter a social gathering for the first time and command everybody’s attention. They live for the attention. If your friend craves unnecessary attention, it could be a sign that he or she is a narcissist.
Sense Of Entitlement
They have this weird sense of entitlement. To a narcissist, the world should always revolve around them. So they don’t understand why they are not entitled to something they feel is rightfully theirs even when it is not.
Urge To Control It All
Another sign you are dealing with a narcissist friend is if your friend always wants to control it all. If he or she always wants to control everybody and everything, it is a glaring sign your friend is one. This is as a result of the superior mentality of being better than everyone else most narcissists have. If your friend is always out to control you, it is a telltale sign your friend is a narcissist.
Perfectionist is the middle name of most narcissists. They always want to be perfect all and everything. They freak out when they don’t get that perfection they crave. That is why it is usually hell to work under a narcissist boss.
Quick To Blame
The last thing a narcissist will do is to take the blame for his or her mistakes. They are perfectionists in the first instance, so they don’t believe in fall short. It doesn’t matter if the fault is glaringly theirs. A typical narcissist is quick to blame everybody for errors and mistakes. When your friend is very quick to blame you or every other person for mistakes or happenings, it could be he or she is one.
Fails To Empathize
Another way to spot a narcissist is that a typical narcissist lacks empathy. They don’t know what it is and thus cannot give what they don’t have.
How Do Narcissists Treat Their Friends
Since most of them are naturally selfish, most narcissists don’t treat their friends well. When narcissists get into a friendship, they are all about what they can gain from the friendship. Don’t just that, they have a way of manipulating people they are with too. When they stop benefiting from the friendship, they look for a way to opt out to the next victim.
Why Do Narcissists Have So Many Friends
This is not necessarily true because most times narcissists don’t have many friends. They usually keep a few friends, usually few friends they can control or benefit from.
So far, some tips on ending a friendship with a narcissist has been discussed in details. Just know that keeping a friendship with a narcissist is always toxic. You should try as much as possible not to get involved with one. Escaping a toxic relationship with a narcissist can be tough but for the sake of your sanity, it must be done. After the friendship is over, you may experience some sort of negative emotions and may even become depressed.
This is due to the kind of things planted in your head by your narcissist ex-friend while you were still together. Narcissists blame others for their own problems and are very adept at making others accept the blame. You must reject the blame and seek help if need be.