How Long Do Narcissistic Relationships Last?
One of the questions most people about to start a relationship with a narcissist ask is how long do narcissistic relationships last. A relationship with a narcissist can last a very long time depending on how long their partner can keep up with their bad behavior. A narcissist will stay in a relationship so far they are getting their narcissistic supply. Just like every other type of relationship, a relationship with a narcissist will start on a good note. This may last a couple of months. After a few months, a narcissist will reveal his/her true nature and the relationship will become toxic.
A narcissist will only walk away from a relationship when they no longer derive any benefit from the relationship. The implication of this is that a narcissistic relationship can last very long until the partner of the narcissist opts to walk away from the relationship or the narcissist gets bored and decides to move on in favor of the new game. The term narcissist is often interpreted to mean someone who is in love with himself or herself alone but a true narcissist is someone suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder. What then is narcissistic personality disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
A narcissist is someone who is in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. Narcissists are in love with this bloated self-image simply because it allows them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity and this results in the dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors associated with narcissists. Narcissists are naturally self-centered and arrogant. They also lack empathy and consideration for others. Another common character of narcissists is an excessive need for admiration. This way of thinking of narcissists affects every aspect of their lives, from work to relationships.
Signs And Symptoms Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The following are some of the signs and symptoms that confirm that someone is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder.
Inflated sense of self-importance
Narcissists by nature have an unrealistic sense of superiority as they tend to believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people. It is also normal for a narcissist to believe that they are better than everyone else and expect to be recognized as such even when they have done nothing to warrant such recognition.
Excessive sense of entitlement
Narcissists believe that they are special so they feel entitled to special treatment. They believe that whatever they want, they should get. Narcissists expect those around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim. They derive value so much from this and failure to meet their every need means that you are useless to them.
Constantly In Need Of Praise and Admiration
This still follows from the earlier discussed points. A narcissist has an inflated sense of superiority that needs to be maintained by constant praise and admiration. So to constantly feed their bloated ego, narcissists surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are usually one-sided and all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the other way around.
Lives In A Fantasy World
Narcissists are often far detached from reality and live in a fantasy world that is propped up by distortion and self-deception to support their grandiose view of themselves. Narcissists often fantasize about unlimited success, brilliance, ideal love, power, and attractiveness to feel special and in control, and also protect themselves from feelings of inner emptiness and shame.
Narcissists lack empathy. They simply cannot identify with the feelings of others or put themselves in other people’s shoes. They simply see other people as objects to serve their needs. So, it is not unusual for them to take advantage of others to achieve their ends without batting an eyelid.
Envies Other People
It is like narcissists to envy others who have something they lack. They feel threatened especially by people who challenge them in any way. So, when a narcissist encounters someone who they feel is a threat to them, they resort to belittling the person to neutralize such a threat.
How Do You Know You Are In A Relationship With A Narcissist?
Some of the signs that indicate you are in a relationship with a narcissist are listed below.
They believe they are very special
If your partner believes they are very special and deserve special treatment always, then you may be dealing with a narcissist.
They Threaten You Frequently
If your partner threatens you frequently for just about everything you do, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
They make you feel guilty
You are constantly at fault for any wrong that happens in the relationship. A narcissist will go as far as digging “dirt” upon you so they can use it later even if such dirt is fabricated.
They are manipulative
Narcissists are master manipulators. A very clear sign you are in a relationship with a narcissist is that they will do everything they can to make themselves feel good at the expense of everything and everyone else.
Show You Affection Intermittently
Narcissists can switch from being sweet to being an asshole within the twinkle of an eye. They are great at making you feel wanted and loved when they need you and almost in the same breath make you feel like garbage once they feel they no longer need you.
They act entitled
If your partner displays a high sense of entitlement then you are likely to be in a relationship with a narcissist.
They act as if rules don’t apply to them
Narcissists generally act as if rules don’t apply to them. They act as if they are far too important to abide by the rules of others. If your partner displays this kind of attitude, they may be a narcissist.
Can A Narcissist Be Faithful?
It is not impossible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship but the chances are slim. Narcissists are convinced they warrant special treatment and constantly take advantage of others to satisfy their desires. This means a narcissist is highly likely to cheat when presented with an opportunity to do so. It is the thinking of the narcissist that their needs supersede anything else and must be met at all times.
So a narcissist would see no reason to sacrifice their happiness for someone else’s. So cheating for a narcissist wouldn’t be an issue. This does not in any way imply that all cheaters are narcissists but a narcissist is likely to cheat in a relationship due to their way of thinking.
How Long Will A Narcissistic Rebound Relationship Last?
Narcissists are all about rebound relationships. Often they have their next relationship worked out before ending the current one. So to answer the question of how long will a narcissistic rebound relationship last, rebound relationships are generally a bad idea and are usually short-lived. Now, picture a narcissist who has toxic characters naturally entering a new relationship before totally getting over the previous one. The outcome is most likely a relationship that will last a couple of months at most.
Narcissist Flaunting A New Girlfriend
It is not uncommon for a narcissist to flaunt his new girlfriend immediately after breaking up with you. It is often the case that a narcissist lines up someone else as a replacement before discarding you. His new girlfriend becomes the fuel for his narcissism. He would idealize his new girlfriend so much to make himself happy and mask his inner demons. A narcissist ex will flaunt his new girlfriend at every available opportunity he gets just so he could get back at you.
This is keeping true to their nature of being childish when it comes to new relationships. Normal healthy people take time to access their new partner before introducing them to friends and family and then flaunting them on social media. This is not the case with narcissists. By flaunting his new girlfriend, a narcissist is using her as his new source of supply and causing further damage to you.
How To Make Relationship With A Narcissist Work
A relationship with a narcissist is never easy. The best option is to walk away from the relationship and not look back. For some people, walking away is not an option for several reasons so they choose to stay and try to make it work. Honestly, it is possible to have a relationship with a narcissist but the price is steep.
You will lose a lot of who you are, and sacrifice a lot of what you care about for the relationship to succeed. You should, however, note that obeying every call of a narcissist and doing all their bidding won’t stop them from discarding you anyway.
You have to Make A Lot of sacrifices
Being in a relationship with a narcissist will require you to sacrifice a lot of who you are, and what you stand for the relationship to work out. You have to accept you are going to get lied to a lot and also prepare to be gaslighted. Narcissists are adept at twisting reality and getting you to admit to doing something you didn’t do. So for your narcissist partner to be happy, you have to always accept their version of events as the truth.
This, however, does not mean your narcissist partner still won’t try to undermine you at every opportunity. It’s a lifetime of sacrifice with no guarantee for one to maintain a relationship with a narcissist.
Accept He Won’t Always Be There For You
Narcissists are quite charming and can be sweet at times. Narcissists would break up their string of bad behavior with intermittent affection, which is what the victim holds out for. So prepare your mind for this and enjoy the best of him/her when that side pops up while enduring the not so good side most of the time.
Don’t Expect Them To Trust You
Narcissists just don’t trust anyone. Your narcissist partner may go as far as stalking you even if you have never given them a reason to doubt you. So prepare your mind for this if you want your relationship to work out.
It is in the nature of narcissists to blame others for just about anything that goes wrong. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, expect to get blamed a lot. So for the relationship to work out, you will have to take them belittling you at every turn, and calling you crazy and oversensitive if you attempt to react. You will be made to feel bad for just about every feeling you have.
Basically, for a relationship with a narcissist to work out, you have to make a lot of sacrifices and endure a lot.
What A Narcissist Wants In A Relationship
The relationship for most narcissists is transactional. The objective of going into a relationship for a narcissist is to enjoy uncommitted pleasure. For them, it’s all a game and winning is the goal.
Will A Narcissist Ever Be Happy In A Relationship
Yes. The early days of any relationship are usually exciting and interesting, so it is quite common for a narcissist to be happy in a relationship at its early stages. The thrill of the chase and the adrenaline rush of love-bombing will make anybody entering a new relationship happy. While for a normal person, the happiness stems from finding someone that truly loves and shares so much in common with you, the case is different for a narcissist.
For them, it is the thrill of the hunt, the thrill of finding someone who ticks all the boxes of what they are looking for currently, and the ego-boost of being put on a pedestal that makes them happy. However, once the chase is over and the love-bombing simmers, a narcissist starts to become unhappy. They become unhappy because their partner is not living up to every detail of their ridiculous expectations even though they won’t make these expectations known to their partner. So yes, a narcissist will be happy in a relationship especially at its early stage.
So far, everything you need to know about the question how long do narcissistic relationships last has been answered in details. Also, other details you need to know on how to build a relationship with a narcissist has been written. Hopefully, this article will help you to build a lasting relationship with one.