How To Ask A Guy Out Without Sounding Desperate

As a woman, asking a guy out can be risky but you should not be afraid to take a chance. For many females, How to ask a guy out without sounding desperate is one question they seriously need answers to. Good news is, the answers you seek are provided in this article. If you find a guy you fancy and are willing to make the first move, here are some ways you can ask him out without sounding desperate.


How to Ask A Guy Out For Coffee

how to ask a guy out for coffee
how to ask a guy out for coffee

Before going into the main topic of how to ask a guy out without sounding desperate, let’s consider how to ask him out for coffee. Coffee is one common ritual most people share. Luckily for you, the chances that the guy you like loves coffee are high. Thus, you can easily invite him for coffee and start up things from there. How do you ask a guy out for coffee?

Pick a Location

The first step is to pick a location for the coffee date. The preferable location should be a location that the guy can easily find. Also it should be one that is close to his house or workplace. With tens of coffee shops scatter around most cities, it is very easily to pick out a coffee shop that matches these criteria.

Pick a Date

After you have picked a location the next step is to choose a location. When picking up a date, you have to consider the time schedule of the guy. It is best to check in with the guy to know a time that is convenient for him. The most preferable times are during lunch break or on a weekend.

Send Him an Invite

How do you intend to invite him for the coffee date? You can send him a text message or an email. Another way is to call him up to ask him to meet you up at the coffee shop.

Be There Before Him

There is no need asking someone to meet up with you only for you to leave the person there waiting. Courtesy demands that you be there before he gets there. It will go a long way to show that you value his time and his person.

Make it Worth It

Finally, you have just one shot to make a good first impression. This coffee date can be the beginning of a long term relationship. It is up to you to make it worth it for the both of you.

Read Also  Ending A Friendship With A Narcissist In 6 Quick Steps


Ask Him Out Directly

This takes a bit of heart to do because there are chances he will turn you down. You have to be mentally prepared for rejection before walking up to him else you risk embarrassing yourself and crying profusely if he turns you down. For girls that are outspoken, this direct approach works for perfectly them. Guys tend to love it when a girl bluntly expresses her feelings towards them. It turns them on and also makes them feel intimidated at the same time. For a girl willing to take this approach, size up his feelings towards you first by flirting with him in person or on phone.

Write Him A Short Poem

Writing your crush a short sweet poem is another cute way to ask him out without sounding desperate. This way, you are able to express both your creative and romantic sides. Doing this for a guy you like can be really cute. Ensure your poem is subtle and doesn’t sound too desperate. Keep it short, five or six lines is enough to pass your message across. Just ensure you convey that you like him and want to go out with him. You can sign off the poem with your contact, if he feels the same way, he will get in touch with you.

Post Him A Cute Note

Another way of asking a guy out devoid of desperation is to send him a handwritten note via post. A short but precise note can do the trick. Something as simple as “I like you” written in colorful letters on a small square piece of cardboard can do the magic. You can be more creative by drawing a tiny rose or a small kiss at a corner of the card. You can add a little element of mystery by leaving out your name on the card. This will leave him wondering about your identity and then you can finally bail him out by telling him you sent him something earlier. You may, however, choose to hint him that you sent him something before the note arrives. The expectation also will make him excited.

Use A Terrible Pick-up Line On Him

It is not often that guys get asked out by ladies, so it is very likely that a guy will find it amusing when a girl walks up to him and uses a terrible pick-up line. This will douse the tension and allow for both of you to have a smooth conversation on the subject matter.

Shy And Incomplete Messages

Another trick you can employ to ask a guy out without sounding desperate is to send him incomplete texts. That way, he will figure out what you have in mind and he will either take the bait or not. Messages like “I want to tell you something but I don’t know how to say it”, will convey your intentions without you actually saying them.

Read Also  When Is The Right Time To Ask A Girl Out

Make Him Help You

A commonly used method by women to get the men they like is to get close to him under the pretext of needing his helping. This method is quite easy and is most likely going to get you the desired result. When you find ways for him to often help you with something he’s really good at, an opening may be created for you to impress him and catch his attention. For example, if you are aware he’s a tech guy, you can have him come around often to help you with new software installation. That way you both get to spend time together and he can really develop a liking for you.

Ask Him Out On Your Birthday

Okay, this method works best if you are already friends with the guy. If you are convinced he has feelings for you, you can take advantage of the occasion of your birthday to let him know how special he is to you and what you want from him. If he comes around to visit on your birthday, tell him just how much you looked forward to his visit and how it was the highlight of your day. Tell him you have a crush on him and want a date with him. You can also do this over the phone when he calls if he doesn’t show up physically for your birthday.

Invite Him To An Outing As More Than A Friend

You can invite your crush out to a special event as your partner for the day. That way, you are subtly sending a message across and if he feels the same way as you do, he will get the hint and take it up from there.

ask a guy out
ask a guy out

Make Him Ask You Out

Sometimes, some guys are just too shy to ask a girl out. If you’ve dropped hints and he’s still not asking, you can ask him out without sounding too desperate by playing the “Do you have a girlfriend game”. Do this by starting a flirty conversation that eventually leads to a situation where he asks you out. You can ask him flirty questions like “why don’t you have a girlfriend?” so as to know if indeed he likes you.

Send Your Best Friend To Ask Him Out For You

You can have your best friend walk up to him and ask him out on your behalf. Chances are that he may like your best friend if she’s prettier than you so this is not always a good idea. If you are however confident that he has eyes for you, you can send your best friend to do the dirty job. Afterall what are friends for?


Asking a guy out isn’t that difficult provided you know the right way to proceed. Next time you find a good looking guy you can’t seem to get out of your head, follow any of the tips provided in this article to ask him out without you sounding desperate.