Infidelity in marriage is the number one factor that leads to divorce these days. Trying to rebuild trust with your significant other after he or she cheated on you is a hard choice to make. This is because emotional infidelity results to distrust, hate and heartbreak. It is really hard to let go of the feeling of betrayal brought about by infidelity to make your marriage work again.
But the truth remains that; you can learn to love your spouse as you did prior to his her emotional infidelity. It may require a lot of work and commitment from your part. But if you really put your mind to it, you have to learn to love again. This article will discuss some sure tips on rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity.
What is Emotional Infidelity
Emotional infidelity is one aspect of infidelity most people don’t talk about. I think this happens because most people don’t understand what emotional infidelity is and what qualifies as emotional cheating. Emotional infidelity or emotional cheating occurs when a spouse or significant other transfers his or her emotions and affection to another person. The significant other is starved of emotions and affection in the relationship. A relationship devoid of emotions and affection is as good as dead.
Signs of Emotional Infidelity
How do you know that your spouse is emotionally cheating on you? These are some of the telltale signs of emotional infidelity in a relationship
Spends Less Time With You
One thing about loving someone is that you want to be around the person all the time. When your significant starts to spend less time with you. But always comes up with excuses why you guys can’t spend quality times together. It could be that his or she is emotionally cheating on you.
Prefers To Discuss Intimate Topics With Another Person
When you always hear intimate topics from a third party. That is something your spouse should have discussed with you in the first place. It could be that he is emotionally attached to the person. This is true especially if it occurs over and over again.
Compare You to a Third Person
When your spouse is always in the habit of comparing you with another person. There is a possibility that he or she is spending quality times with the person in recent times and is cheating on your emotionally.
Put in Efforts to Look Good For the Person
When your spouse suddenly starts to put in efforts to look good when he or she has to meet up with a particular person. It is a sign that he or she has feelings for the person. You don’t put in that extra effort for someone your don’t care about.
Being Less Intimate With You
When your spouse suddenly loses interest in becoming intimate with you in recent times, it is a telltale sign of emotional infidelity from your spouse.
Tips on Rebuilding Trust After Emotional Infidelity
The first step is to forgive your spouse. Forgiveness a personal choice you need to make. Forgiveness here entails a decision to let go of all the wrongs and heartbreaks. It is a deliberate decision to let the infidelity slip through your fingers. As long as your spouse has apologized and shown remorse for his her action, you should forgive. Forgiveness is the beginning of the process of rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity. You cannot heal emotionally if you don’t forgive. You can’t endure your spouse’s presence around you if you don’t make a choice to forgive. Most times, you may need a reason to forgive. You reason may be because he or she has shown enough remorse. Your reason may be for the sake of your kids.
Take Out Time To Heal:
For you to embark on the journey to love your spouse again, you may need to take out time to heal. You need to let out the emotional distress and heartache. The time you require to heal depends on your emotional build up. Some people get over emotional wounds faster than others. Take out time to process the situation. You may need to stay apart from your spouse this period you heal. You may choose to let your spouse in and undergo the healing process together. If you choose to stay away from your spouse during this period, you need to be around your social support network. Your social support network includes your family and close friends.
Choose To Love Again:
After you have taken out time to heal, you need to make a decision to love your significant other again. Without this personal decision to love your spouse again, you may continue to resent him or her. Make a choice today to see your spouse in a new light. The faster way to love him or her again is bring back memories of the sweet old days. You can do this by going through old photos both of you took those early days. You can also visualize memorable events that happened before he cheated on you. This will help you let go of the resentment and love you unconditionally.
Talk It Out:
Both of you need to talk things out. You both need to talk about the present and the way forward. Do not bring up issues that will injure old wounds again.
Learn To Trust Again:
Without trust, your relationship is as good as gone. Trust is the foundation upon which every stable marriage is built. If your spouse is truly remorseful, he or she will start working on building your trust again. You on your part need to learn to trust your spouse again. It may take some time to rebuild this trust. You will see your trust level increase as you continue to let go.
Spend Time Alone:
Finally, you need to spend time alone with your spouse, especially if there was a separation. Both of you need to spend time to rediscover yourselves. You can spend some time alone cooking, cleaning the house or engaging in other chores that will help you bound.
The process of rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity will require a lot of compromise and sacrifice from you. Your spouse has to show a willingness to make it work too. Together, both of you can build a new level of trust and create a stronger bound in your marriage.