HOW TO STOP A NARCISSIST IN HIS TRACKS
In simple and clear terms, a narcissist is someone who is in love with himself and himself alone. They are usually self-absorbed and think they are better than everyone else. Narcissists would tear you down just to feed their ego. Being involved with a narcissist in any way will definitely affect you mentally. So How Do You Stop A Narcissist In His Tracks? Answers are provided below. Do note that not all the tips provided will apply to your situation, just pick the ones that work best for you and ignore the rest.
It is always safer to not get involved with a narcissist in the first place than to attempt to stop them later. It will save you a lot of stress. Narcissists lack empathy and end up making people around them miserable. The first defense against narcissists is to avoid them at all costs. Don’t go into a relationship or friendship with a narcissist with the hope of changing them. You will end up being miserable. So it is best to keep your distance and carefully pick your relationships. One very good way of identifying a narcissist is to measure their words against their actions.
If there is a consistent disconnect between their words and actions no matter how charming, and persuasive they may seem, you may be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists are typically clever and can cunningly explain away their mistakes. Don’t get drawn in by the manipulation. When you identify a narcissist, keep a healthy distance if possible. If you are already involved with one in any way, give serious thoughts to leaving the relationship.
#2. Don’t Try To Change Them
Attempts to change chronic narcissists through dialogue while admirable, often end in frustration and disappointment. It is, therefore, best not to toy with the idea at all. In fact, your efforts may only be feeding the ego of the narcissist as you are actually giving them the attention and power they wouldn’t have in the first place. Some socially deficient narcissists enjoy the negative feedback in the absence of positives as any attention for them is better than none at all.
They would rather be disliked as this makes them feel superior than to be a nobody. It is not your duty to change a narcissist, these people can only change when they mature and become more self-aware. When involved with a narcissist, instead of attempting to change them, focus your attention on taking back the rein of your life and set healthy boundaries.
#3. Know Your Rights And Set Boundaries
If you are already involved with a narcissist, then it is time to put in the work to stop them. A very good way of this is setting boundaries and knowing your rights. Narcissists are often clever so you have to be at your best to even stand a chance of beating them at their game. They are charming, persuasive and coercive and will often absorb you emotionally, physically, and/or materially so you need to make a clear distinction of when your own individuality must emerge. Narcissists will often see you as an extension of themselves so it is up to you to remind them that you are not. This you will do by setting boundaries. Your boundaries become your limit and once the narcissist crosses those boundaries, you know it’s definitely time to be yourself.
Also, you should be aware of your following fundamental human rights which includes: the right to he treated with respect, the right to say No without feeling guilty, the right to express your opinions, feelings and wants, the right to take care or and protect yourself and so on. These rights represent your boundaries. While the narcissist is aware you have these rights, it is not in their nature to respect them. They believe the world revolves around them and you should be at their disposal. However, you should know that you are in charge of your life and not the narcissist. Make this clear to the narcissist as well.
#4. Take Charge Of Situations
When in mild situations with a narcissist, instead of getting blown away by their charm or put down by their manipulations, show empathy and maintain humor. Don’t over-react to the narcissist either positively or negatively. When you observe that the narcissist is demanding for attention, instead of wearing a frown, simply smile. When the narcissist gets you angry, don’t dwell on the anger. Instead, take a deep breath and relax. Also, when dealing with a narcissist in more serious situations, deploy consequences to lower manipulation and to compel respect and cooperation. If a narcissist insists on violating your boundaries despite repeated warnings, deploy consequence to put them in check.
#5. Utilize Assertive And Effective Communication
While it is best to avoid interacting with a narcissist at all costs, if you have to deal with one then you have to be assertive and effective with your communication. This way, you will be in a position of strength.
#6. Avoid Being Sucked In
Typically, narcissists are charming and persuasive which makes it easy to fall under their influence and do their every bidding. You find yourself doing things on the terms of the narcissist always. The narcissist may even go further to place an ever increasing list of unreasonable expectations and demands on you. You may begin to notice a clear pattern of inconsistency from the narcissist, such as being generally being self-centered, being there for you one moment and then disappearing the next, breaking agreements and not following through, and so on.
Confronting the narcissist about his/her behavior won’t do you much good as they are able to conveniently offer excuses. They are that good. So it’s best to avoid being sucked in by trying to “work things out” with the narcissist in such situations. They really don’t value you much so it’s no use. Desist from trying to placate their unreasonable expectations and demands and keep your own expectations low.
Avoiding a narcissist is the best option if possible but when you have no choice but to interact with one, some effective methods to stop a narcissist in his tracks have been discussed in this piece.