What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship
Narcissists are a different breed for those who have encountered one before. Breaking up with a narcissist is not like the regular break up. There are certain behaviors that narcissists display at the end of a relationship that may worsen things for you if you are breaking up with them. You have to be well prepared to handle such otherwise you will have a really tough time coping with the breakup. Do you want to find out what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship? Find out below.
Guilt-trip You Into Staying
If you break up with a narcissist, don’t expect them to take the blow lying down. They will put up a fight and attempt to convince you that you made the wrong choice. They will try different things just to get you back. Persuasion, coercion, coaxing and even provocation are some of the tools they employ to achieve their aim. The narcissist can also bring up the times he’s been nice to you, the wonderful times you’ve had together all in an attempt to win you back. If these do not work, they go back to devaluing attacks on you.
Narcissists live in a world of their own. They are very good at distorting reality and can leave you questioning your sanity. Narcissists will go an extra mile to preserve their ego. If you break up with a narcissist, they will switch up on you pretty fast and tell you they were going to do it anyway. They will also go about telling just about anyone that cares to know that they broke up with you and not the other way round. They will lay the blame at your door and absolve themselves of any wrongdoing whatsoever.
Some narcissists will admit you broke up with them just because it suits them and they get some form of benefit from telling people just how badly you left them. They are just good at making everything about them and would go to any extent to satisfy themselves without caring how you feel. Be ready for this if you are breaking up with a narcissist.
It is not uncommon for a narcissist to stalk you after breaking up with them. Expect to barge into your narcissist ex at the grocery store or at a social event you attend.
The narcissist naturally believes other people are lesser than them. After breaking up with one, they view you as devalued, awful and horrible. This perception is regardless of who called it quits. It simply doesn’t matter. To them, its either you are the best thing the world has seen since tea or you are just a piece of dirt to be treated and discarded as such. So it is most likely your narcissist ex-partner starts treating you as if you are worthless.
This doesn’t matter whether you have been together for a lifetime or have strong bonds that may include children. These things don’t matter to them. They will set out to attack you by going after things you value the most. The kids, property, money, just about anything they can use to get back at you. Note however that all the nasty behavior exhibited towards you may change quickly and they may become more friendly.
This is due mainly to their unstable inner identity. Be careful though, as it may be part of some conspiracy to have you trust them again before they extract something from you and then flip the cards once more. This is called hoovering, and it is a common and very serious threat when breaking up with a narcissist. If you fall for it, well, you will only have yourself to blame.
Demand For Attention Even After The Breakup
A narcissist can continue to demand your attention even after breaking up with him. To forestall this, severe all ties and cut off contact as much as possible with the narcissist. It is not uncommon for a narcissist to call in the middle of the night after getting drunk. Some can “accidentally” break into your house to get their belongings, some can bomb your phone with texts or emails and such behaviors as these. If you have kids together, it may be more difficult to deal with these pleas for attention as the narcissist will use the kids as an excuse to get your attention as often as possible.
It is quite common for narcissists to move into another relationship almost immediately after one ends. In fact, if a narcissist breaks up with you, it is most likely they have lined up someone else as a replacement before discarding you. This new person becomes the new fuel for their narcissism. They idealize this person so much to make themselves feel happy. In truth, they are only using this new person in some way as a drug to take away the pain of demons in their minds. So they flaunt this new person at every opportunity they get which is true to their nature as narcissists tend to be incredibly childish when it comes to new relationships.
Normal, healthy adults unlike narcissists, take their time to get to know someone before introducing them to family and friends. So if you have just broken up with a narcissist, prepare for them to be all over your face with pictures of their new partner. Some even go extra by contacting you to tell you just how amazing their new partner is. So prepare for this in your mind and don’t let them get back at you this way. It is their own way of punishing an ex-partner or proving just how great a partner they are.
Display A Sense Of Entitlement And Lack Of Compassion Or Consideration
Narcissists by nature are self-absorbed and entitled. They lack empathy and would show you none once you break up with them. They will show no concern about your welfare at all post-breakup. They don’t care how you cope at all, it is just not their concern. They will frustrate you by all means possible, so you may need to take some steps to protect yourself. If you both live together, plan your exit to coincide with when they would not be home.
This allows you to take what is yours and know that once you leave, you may not be allowed back in even if you own the house. Get yourself a solicitor to help with your property if need be as the police may not be of much help since it is a civil matter.
Will A Narcissist Leave A Relationship
Yes, a narcissist can leave a relationship. This is because the narcissist is most concerned about his or her self. So when they feel they are not getting the satisfaction or control they are looking for, they can leave a relationship. The usually pattern is for the narcissist to leave a relationship when he or she has commence another relationship. This helps to stroke their egos.
How Does A Narcissist React When You Dump Him
Most times a narcissist doesn’t take it well when you dump him. This is because most narcissists have ego and hidden self-esteem issues. To a narcissist, he is the best thing to happen to you since the discovery of cheese so he won’t understand why you chose to leave. Expect some of the reactions discussed earlier on from a narcissist when you breakup with him.
So far, what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship has been explained in details. Narcissists have a way of making everything to be about them, so expect them to attempt to make the whole breakup situation be about them.