What Do Narcissists Want Sexually 

What Do Narcissists Want Sexually 

Actually, there is no straight answer to the question of what do narcissists want sexually. Narcissists are unique beings and so are their sexual wants. They are exhibitionists by nature and this is evident in their sexual relations. For them, intimacy does not exist in relationships and their partners may end up feeling used. Relationship with a narcissist is quite different from normal relationship. There is nothing deep about a relationship with a narcissist.

It’s all superficial. Narcissists see their partners as objects and sources of narcissistic supply and treat them that way too. They apply this attitude to kissing, sex, and everything that comes with normal intimate relationships. Sex to a narcissist is just another means of being admired and is purely mechanical.

All a narcissist wants sexually is for their partner to praise their sexual prowess after the act, thereby feeding their ego. For them, sex is a tool to conquer and control. Narcissists tend to try to avoid sex but are also obsessed with it. They do not want to ‘need’ another person to pleasure them but at the same time, they also want it so badly. Narcissists view their partners as objects that are there to only satisfy their needs, be it pleasure, status or power. While sex generally acts to bring partners closer, narcissists only view sex as a form of personal gratification.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Of course, narcissists enjoy kissing but only if it boosts their ego and their feeling of superiority. Narcissists need to be in control of the relationship and this, unfortunately, means no intimacy. Everything a narcissist does in a relationship is on the surface, nothing deep. So while narcissists do enjoy kissing when it suits their selfish interest, don’t expect a narcissistic partner to kiss you often. They would only when it fuels their ego.

what do narcissists want sexually
what do narcissists want sexually

Narcissists Withholding Intimacy

A narcissist has to be in control in a relationship and this can only mean one thing, lack of intimacy. They only see their partner as an object to supply their narcissistic needs. A relationship with a narcissist is not like other normal relationships. The concept of intimacy is alien to narcissists. There must be trust in a relationship for there to be intimacy and to build trust takes time.

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Both partners have to be empathic, listen clearly to the needs of each other, tune in and immerse themselves into each other’s world. All of these are impossible for a narcissist to do. The best a narcissist can do is to mirror you, pretend that they are there while their mind is entirely elsewhere.

Are Narcissists Good In Bed? 

While sex with narcissists is usually mechanical and devoid of feelings and intimacy, narcissists can put up a good show in bed too if it fuels their narcissism. Narcissists love to be in control in a relationship and may use sex as a means of achieving this. So this means that it is possible for a narcissist to be good in bed but not all narcissists are highly skilled in that department. In fact, some narcissists feel sex is demanding and degrading.

Let’s delve further into this. Narcissists are sometimes divided into cerebral and somatic narcissists. Cerebral narcissists are all about their brainpower and intelligence which they believe is higher than that of others.They use their intellect to impress those around them to elicit praise and adoration. Expect a cerebral narcissist to use their knowledge whether real or feigned, and academic or career achievements to present themselves in a good light. Somatic narcissists, on the other hand, are concerned only about their body.

For them, it’s all about how good they look, what their body can do, and how good at sex they are. It is not unusual for somatic narcissists to flaunt their body frequently, flex their muscles or boast about their sporting successes. With this distinction made between cerebral and somatic narcissists, Let’s discuss the performance of each in the bedroom.

Cerebral Narcissists 

For cerebral narcissists, the feeling is that sex is demeaning and degrading. Cerebral narcissists do not enjoy sex generally and prefer masturbation or emotionless sex such as sex with prostitutes. They may engage in bouts of sexual hyperactivity that involves them changing sexual partners frequently and regard such partners simply as objects

Somatic Narcissists 

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Somatic narcissists are better at sex generally than cerebral narcissists. They use sex to conquer and control and are likely to resort to serial sexual conquests. Sex for them is purely mechanical as they rarely get emotionally involved. They jump ship quickly and move on to the next source of supply. Somatic narcissists also see their partners as mere objects who only serve as sources of narcissistic supply.

What Turns A Narcissist On? 

Relationship with a narcissist is devoid of intimacy and as such, they are not turned on in ways that normal humans get turned on sexually. Kissing, cuddling and the usual intimate actions that send sparks flying in a normal relationship are often missing in relationships with narcissists. The obvious turn on then for narcissists will be the need to fuel their narcissism.

Narcissists feed on praise and admiration from others so when a narcissist feels the need to get their supply, they may get turned on sexually if their need will be met. They see sex as a tool for conquering and controlling and this helps them exert their dominance in the relationship. Narcissists are all about control in a relationship and leave little or no room for intimacy.

How To Get What You Want From A Narcissist 

Narcissists don’t care at all about the feelings of others and are only obsessed with what they want. Getting what you want from a narcissist can be a bit difficult but there are a few tricks you can employ to make a narcissist do your bidding. A good way to get what you want from a narcissist is to convince the narcissist that what you want is in their best interest. Another way is to pretend that you are not interested in what you actually want, thereby tricking the narcissist into getting it for you. You have to be convincing though as narcissists are highly intelligent and can decipher what you actually want and do the exact opposite.


So far, the answer to the question of what do narcissists want sexually has been answered in details. Also, other aspect of the sexual life of a narcissist has been explained in details in this post. hopefully, it will help you understand the sexual life of your narcissist partner.